When Salman Khan got up last morning, his scream of pain and agony was heard all the way till Juhu Beach. As anxious people started to drop by the apartment complex where he lives, they were met by a teary eyed Sohail Khan, who said, “Bhai has run out of Being Human t-shirts and all he is left with is a t-shirt that says “I like black bucks and I cannot lie”. He is devastated.” To the question of exactly how Salman ran out of these t-shirts Sohail said, “Bhai does not take t-shirts off like normal people. He stands in front of the mirror, flexes his pecs and voila, the t-shirt just tears apart. That’s why you never saw him wear the same Being Human t-shirt twice.”
Being Human is the charity that Salman Khan is famously associated with. If you ever wondered how Salman managed to change his popular perception of being Bollywood’s bad boy, then Being Human is it. A percentage of the revenues from the sale of Being Human t-shirts and apparel reportedly goes towards charitable causes. It helps that Salman Khan has bought up the entire stock of Being Human t-shirts and has been seen wearing them to interviews, movie shoots, parties, award functions and weddings, effectively meaning that he is the single biggest contributor to Being Human. Some superstitious people believe that it was the power of the Being Human t-shirt that enabled Salman and SRK to bury the hatchet and hug each other at an Iftaar party.
As the journalists waited outside for a statement from Bhai, hundreds of girls and middle aged ladies descended upon us, clutching their own Being Human t-shirts. Before things got out of hand, a screechy loudspeaker was set up and a voice that claimed to be Salman Khan asked people to respect his privacy in these trying times. In the pin drop silence that the loudspeaker left in its wake, a hesitant, fully made up struggling actress asked Sohail Khan, “But what is he going to wear now?” Sohail called inside and asked his brother and after a few moments of silence, the loudspeaker cranked up again and all it said was, “Only jeans.”
Pandemonium broke out and this reporter barely made it out alive.