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  • Salman Khan Runs Out of Being Human T-Shirts, depressed

    When Salman Khan got up last morning, his scream of pain and agony was heard all the way till Juhu Beach. As anxious people started to drop by the apartment complex where he lives, they were met by a teary eyed Sohail Khan, who said, “Bhai has run out of Being Human t-shirts and all he is left with is a t-shirt that says “I like black bucks and I cannot lie”. He is devastated.” To the question of exactly how Salman ran out of these t-shirts Sohail said, “Bhai does not take t-shirts off like normal people. He stands in front of the mirror, flexes his pecs and voila, the t-shirt just tears apart. That’s why you never saw him wear the same Being Human t-shirt twice.”

    Being Human is the charity that Salman Khan is famously associated with. If you ever wondered how Salman managed to change his popular perception of being Bollywood’s bad boy, then Being Human is it. A percentage of the revenues from the sale of Being Human t-shirts and apparel reportedly goes towards charitable causes. It helps that Salman Khan has bought up the entire stock of Being Human t-shirts and has been seen wearing them to interviews, movie shoots, parties, award functions and weddings, effectively meaning that he is the single biggest contributor to Being Human. Some superstitious people believe that it was the power of the Being Human t-shirt that enabled Salman and SRK to bury the hatchet and hug each other at an Iftaar party.

    As the journalists waited outside for a statement from Bhai, hundreds of girls and middle aged ladies descended upon us, clutching their own Being Human t-shirts. Before things got out of hand, a screechy loudspeaker was set up and a voice that claimed to be Salman Khan asked people to respect his privacy in these trying times. In the pin drop silence that the loudspeaker left in its wake, a hesitant, fully made up struggling actress asked Sohail Khan, “But what is he going to wear now?” Sohail called inside and asked his brother and after a few moments of silence, the loudspeaker cranked up again and all it said was, “Only jeans.”

    Pandemonium broke out and this reporter barely made it out alive.

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  • CHANNING TATUM, ZOE SALDANA, AND OTHERS JOIN GUILLERMO DEL TORO'S ANIMATED COMEDY

    According to The Hollywood ReporterChanning TatumZoe Saldana,Diego Luna, and Christina Applegate will star in Book of Life, an animated feature from the twisted mind of Guillermo del Toro.

    Jorge Gutierrez is directing Book of Life, which centers around Manolo, a young man who embarks on an incredible adventure that spans three fantastical worlds, where he must brave his biggest fears.

    The cast also includes Ice CubeKate del CastilloRon Perlman (duh!), and a bevy of actors including Cheech Marin, Hector Elizondo, Placido Domingo, and Ana de la Reguera. Given the cast and the information released about the film, it seems that the feature is going to have a rich Latin flair. It is also being reported that the film will offer a fresh take on current pop songs.

    Del Toro is known for his ability to create impressive and imaginative visuals with gothic undertones. We’re excited to see what a visionary director can do with a full-length animated movie, especially after watching his creepy Simpsons opener that still has us checking under the couch for monsters. Even though del Toro is only producing, we're positive that his vision and influence will spill into all aspects of production.

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  • THE MOST HILARIOUS NETFLIX GENRES

    Do you sometimes look through your Netflix and think, how do they come up with this stuff? How could there possibly be enough movies to fill a category like "Dinosaur TV Documentaries" or "Witty Dysfunctional-Family TV Animated Comedies?" How can there be that many hyphens in one genre? Well, you're not alone. Here are some more of the weirdest genres people have discovered in their Netflix home pages. 

    Hidden Gem Fight-the-System Movies
    Featuring: GoonGasland

    Classic Feel-good Opposites-Attract Movies
    Featuring: Never on SundayWhite Christmas

    Understated Independent Dysfunctional-Family Dramas
    Featuring: What's Eating Gilbert GrapeCarried Away

    Critically-acclaimed Emotional Father-Son Dramas
    Featuring: Life is BeautifulBilly Elliot

    Dark Biographical 20th Century Period Pieces 
    Featuring: The PianistJarhead

    Cynical Comedies Featuring a Strong Female Lead
    Featuring: Serious MoonlightYoung Adult

    Dark Independent Mother-Daughter Dramas
    Featuring: HelenThe Secret

    Violent Nightmare-Vacation Movies
    Featuring: Cabin in the WoodsThe Evil Dead

    Cerebral Con-Game Movies
    Featuring: FollowingConfidence Girl

    Visually-Striking Witty Comedies
    Featuring: ManhattanCat Run

    Critically-acclaimed Violent Suspenseful Movies
    Featuring: DrivePulp Fiction 

    Biographical Tortured-Genius Movies
    Featuring: QuillsHeleno 

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  • 2014 ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME: WHO'S IN & WHO'S OUT

    The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has announced its shortlist of nominees for 2014. While the Hall of Fame is little more than a vanity project for a cabal of self-important baby boomers headed by Rolling Stone publisher Jann Wenner, who last had his finger on rock's pulse sometime before the Sex Pistols' "Anarchy in the U.K." came out, it's always fun to predict who will and won't make it in on each year's ballot. So here they are, in approximate likelihood of induction.

    Nirvana

    Because artists are eligible 25 years after their first record was released, Nirvana have been nominated on the first possible ballot. (Bleach came out in 1989.) They will sail through, which the board will consider proof that they're down with The Kids, notwithstanding that The Kids that bought Nirvana's albums are in our 40s now.

    Linda Ronstadt

    Ronstadt will be this year's sympathy vote, since she recently disclosed that her singing career is over due to Parkinson's Disease. A technically gifted (and drop-dead gorgeous) singer, Ronstadt was often hampered by her lack of interpretive skills. For example, she seemed genuinely oblivious to the fact that Randy Newman's "Sail Away" was sung from the point of view of a slave trader.

    Peter Gabriel

    He's been eligible for 11 years, and as a critically-respected solo artist who also scored some major radio hits, he's exactly in the hall's wheelhouse. Given the comparative lack of sure things in this year's shortlist, this may be his year.

    Chic

    Although the board is notoriously anti-disco (Donna Summer didn't get in until after she died), the commercial resurrection of Nile Rodgers via Daft Punk's "Get Lucky" might sway a few members to recognize the architectural genius of hits like "Good Times" and "Le Freak."

    Hall & Oates

    There was a period in the early 1980s where critics considered Daryl Hall a genius blue-eyed soul songwriter on the level of Todd Rundgren and John Oates an amiable dude with a killer mustache. Perhaps some residual nostalgia for the duo's hits might bring them in. Personally, I think they should be inducted just for this incredibly bizarre and primitive video for "She's Gone."

    Kiss

    Perhaps the only act who genuinely wants to be in the Hall of Fame, Kiss are rock's most shameless hucksters. And frankly, they deserve recognition just for the fact that they pioneered the licensing and merchandising that made pop music even more profitable than it was. But the board still has the antiquated view that rock is art, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, and that being too commercial is uncool.

    LL Cool J

    With his primary career these days being an amiable TV actor, it can be hard to remember just how outstanding singles like "The Bells" and "Goin' Back To Cali" were -- LL was one of the first next-gen rappers taking the music in new directions after the first wave had passed their peaks. Like Hall and Oates, he'll get in eventually, but this may not be his year.

    The Replacements

    Given The Replacements' "loveable losers" image, it would actually be entirely fitting if they became one of those bands who never actually make it in. When they do -- which they will, eventually -- it will shut the door on the entry of other key Amerindie bands of the mid-80s like Husker Du and the Meat Puppets. The board thinks they only need one representative.

    Yes

    Like Rush, Kiss and Black Sabbath, Yes has their diehard fans who think the Hall of Fame is a joke for not including their favorite band. The Hall is indeed a joke, but that's not why.

    Cat Stevens

    Still stigmatized by the overblown reaction to some widely misunderstood quotes Yusuf Islam (the man formerly known as Cat Stevens) gave to a newspaper in the wake of the fatwa against British author Salman Rushdie, Stevens may never make it into the Hall. But then, his pleasant but lightweight take on UK folk-rock is hardly the most earthshaking music of its time.

    Deep Purple

    Okay, look: Machine Head was awesome. I mean, "Space Truckin'" and "Highway Star" will still rock your face off, and even as overplayed as it is, "Smoke on the Water" has one of the all-time great riffs. But the rest of Deep Purple's catalogue is at best third-string boogie. If artists with only one great album are eligible, let's induct The Stone Roses immediately.

    NWA

    Dr. Dre will someday make it into the Hall as a producer, but Jann Wenner lets the band whose signature song was called 'F--k tha Police" into his playground over his dead body. And Ice Cube's acting career makes NWA seem less threatening with every family comedy he makes.

    The Zombies

    Honestly, The Zombies are probably my favorite band on this entire list: "She's Not There" is maybe the most perfect single of the British Invasion, Odessey and Oracle is start to finish brilliant, and through Rod Argent's electric piano solos, they were possibly the very first band to bring a modern jazz influence into Top 40 pop. But they remain probably too obscure a niche taste to make the final ballot.

    The Meters

    That goes double for The Meters. All rock critics genuflect to this New Orleans institution led by the legendary Art Neville, but I've always suspected that most of those copies of Fire on the Bayou in their collections don't actually get pulled out much.

    Link Wray

    I love Link Wray's doomy, reverb-driven instrumentals as much as the next guy, but given that his first, biggest and best hit "Rumble" came out 55 years ago, I can't help but think that if he was going to get inducted it would have happened by now.

    The Paul Butterfield Blues Band

    Much like The Meters, critics love to name-drop Butterfield and his legendary guitarist Mike Bloomfield, but Bloomfield remains far more beloved for his mid-'60s work with Bob Dylan than for much-lauded but little-heard albums like East/West.

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